What Black Men Should Do Now
A few years ago my mom got me a book titles "What Black Men Should Do Now". In a nutshell, the book's purpose was to provide some direction as well as instruction to us Black Men as to how we should begin to think and behave towards all aspects of society. The author, whose name escapes me, was no doubt a professional scholar who afters tons of research compiled the book. As for me, I'm just a guy. That said, I want to lay down my own ideas of "What Black Men Should Do Now".
Be Honest With Yourself - This is a great place to start. Its what you can begin to do right away. Not with asking if you're a good person or a bad person. But whether or not you're fronting on yourself while trying to fit an image or a lifestyle. Being Black is more than just a skin color. Its about recognizing the challenges that come with being Black. Being honest with yourself is knowing inside what you're all about, determining what you are satisfied with, and what you're not satisfied with. Determine where changes would help you, and make them. But more than anything, being honest with oneself lays the groundwork for harmony within; which breeds the confidence through with you can achieve just about anything.
Connect Spiritually - The beauty of spirituality, of course, according to what you believe in, is being able to put yourself within this world in perspective. Its can be an effective tool in reminding us that we're not the center of the world, and in connecting us with all of humanity.
Be Aware of the Landscape - Every day things that are happening that affect you and your surroundings. I'm talking about social, political, economic, and environmental things. I'm not saying to be a pundit or an activist, but keep an eye on these things. Knowing the landscape helps in making important decisions and in being more confident in understanding the world we live in.
Don't Play Victim - While I'm not so shallow to say that just because we have a Black President then all is good and its not hard being Black anymore, I don't see the profit of playing the victim. Are we a people wronged? Certainly. Is there still an ongoing racial struggle for opportunity, respect, or to simply just live in peace? I know so. Playing victim, however, opens the door for excuses and in the end, profits us little. We know injustices exist, and we must stand against them strongly. That said, we shouldn't let it hamper us from being excellent in that which we can control. Let us do all we can do.
Be A Leader And A Follower - Some people look up to you with great admiration and respect. Some of you fathers know that. And there are some people whom you look up to with great admiration and respect. Be a leader when leading is required; and be a follower when it is beneficial.
Choose Your Models and Mentors wisely - No one can live life by ourselves. We learn from those who teach us either directly, or indirectly. Be mindful of those who are interested in shaping you to their image, rather than assisting you in being the best person YOU can be. Those people may try to take control of you, as well as take credit for you.
Tone Down Your Pride - We feel a need to continually prove that we are strong, tough, or 'hard'. We're "never scared"..as a lot of us like to say. So often, errant or self-destructive choices are made on trying to prove this point. How many conflicts have arisen in our lives in an effort to prevent from getting 'punked' or taking revenge for our egos being bruised by someone or something. Realize that sometimes it takes more courage to make admissions such as maybe being wrong, being hurt, or even having fear sometimes. Which brings my next point.
Never Fear, Have Courage - I believe in combating fear wherever you find it. I am in my own personal battle and have found that my entire life has been governed by fear in some shape or form. Be mindful of fear in you. As I earlier noted. While you're saying that you're "never scared", you could very well be scared of admitting vulnerabilities because of how you may be viewed by your peers. Fear within will keep you on the sidelines while everybody else is out there in the game. Find it within, and eliminate it. Have courage to make difficult decisions, to go through things instead of around it; for very little worth having comes without obstacles.
Quit trying to 'Show Out' - One of the things I absolutely love about our culture is our ability to live with a certain flare. I guess the kids call it a 'swagg'. I love it! Be careful, however, that its not empty. Have the substance to go with that style. In other words, don't write checks that you can't cash. Efficiency gets results and you do yourself a disservice if you're all talk and no action or all show and no go.
Know Yourself; Be Yourself - So you may like Pantera, or Ice Hockey, or even White women. I lay out those stereotypical attributes for a reason. I have often commented that you'd be hard pressed to find a demographic more pressured to be a certain way than Black Men. Everybody wants a piece of shaping us. American culture, media, the Church, the streets, fellow Black men, even Black women. If you're not rooted, then you run the huge risk of being pulled in a thousand different directions. All your life, you could find yourself trying to impress, or prove that you belong in some social circles, or trying to make someone happy at the expense of your own. You know who you are. You know what you enjoy, what you're into, what your passion is, etc. Embrace those things, and live it openly. People may not like it or may have something to say, but that's their problem.
Be Responsible - Being responsible means a few simple things: taking ownership for you, your actions, and your situations. Know what is your responsibility and what isn't.That means no finger pointing, no blame gaming, and no whining (whining is illegitimate complaining)! It also means no excessive guilt trips for things you weren't responsible for. We all know its hard out there, but that can't affect you and what you do on a moment by moment basis. Stand tall and strong for what you believe in and don't fold like a tent just because you may not be able to argue it well. If you're sure of yourself and you believe in it, I don't care if a thousand lawyers come to argue you down. Listen? Yes. Consider? Yes. Modify when warranted? Absolutely. But stand strong.
Gratitude = Happiness - I believe a grateful person is a happy person. You tell me, is it possible to be truly grateful and not happy?
Long story short, be yourself. I believe a person who is secure in themselves, and who respects, approves, and loves themselves will exhibit those same things outwards. There's a reason these aren't specific pointers. There's a reason there's no relationship advice, no business pointers, or life coaching. There's no sure-fire way to navigate this world. Nor can you please everybody. What you can do, however is construct yourself to live with strength and empowerment within, and that will strengthen us all.
Be Honest With Yourself - This is a great place to start. Its what you can begin to do right away. Not with asking if you're a good person or a bad person. But whether or not you're fronting on yourself while trying to fit an image or a lifestyle. Being Black is more than just a skin color. Its about recognizing the challenges that come with being Black. Being honest with yourself is knowing inside what you're all about, determining what you are satisfied with, and what you're not satisfied with. Determine where changes would help you, and make them. But more than anything, being honest with oneself lays the groundwork for harmony within; which breeds the confidence through with you can achieve just about anything.
Connect Spiritually - The beauty of spirituality, of course, according to what you believe in, is being able to put yourself within this world in perspective. Its can be an effective tool in reminding us that we're not the center of the world, and in connecting us with all of humanity.
Be Aware of the Landscape - Every day things that are happening that affect you and your surroundings. I'm talking about social, political, economic, and environmental things. I'm not saying to be a pundit or an activist, but keep an eye on these things. Knowing the landscape helps in making important decisions and in being more confident in understanding the world we live in.
Don't Play Victim - While I'm not so shallow to say that just because we have a Black President then all is good and its not hard being Black anymore, I don't see the profit of playing the victim. Are we a people wronged? Certainly. Is there still an ongoing racial struggle for opportunity, respect, or to simply just live in peace? I know so. Playing victim, however, opens the door for excuses and in the end, profits us little. We know injustices exist, and we must stand against them strongly. That said, we shouldn't let it hamper us from being excellent in that which we can control. Let us do all we can do.
Be A Leader And A Follower - Some people look up to you with great admiration and respect. Some of you fathers know that. And there are some people whom you look up to with great admiration and respect. Be a leader when leading is required; and be a follower when it is beneficial.
Choose Your Models and Mentors wisely - No one can live life by ourselves. We learn from those who teach us either directly, or indirectly. Be mindful of those who are interested in shaping you to their image, rather than assisting you in being the best person YOU can be. Those people may try to take control of you, as well as take credit for you.
Tone Down Your Pride - We feel a need to continually prove that we are strong, tough, or 'hard'. We're "never scared"..as a lot of us like to say. So often, errant or self-destructive choices are made on trying to prove this point. How many conflicts have arisen in our lives in an effort to prevent from getting 'punked' or taking revenge for our egos being bruised by someone or something. Realize that sometimes it takes more courage to make admissions such as maybe being wrong, being hurt, or even having fear sometimes. Which brings my next point.
Never Fear, Have Courage - I believe in combating fear wherever you find it. I am in my own personal battle and have found that my entire life has been governed by fear in some shape or form. Be mindful of fear in you. As I earlier noted. While you're saying that you're "never scared", you could very well be scared of admitting vulnerabilities because of how you may be viewed by your peers. Fear within will keep you on the sidelines while everybody else is out there in the game. Find it within, and eliminate it. Have courage to make difficult decisions, to go through things instead of around it; for very little worth having comes without obstacles.
Quit trying to 'Show Out' - One of the things I absolutely love about our culture is our ability to live with a certain flare. I guess the kids call it a 'swagg'. I love it! Be careful, however, that its not empty. Have the substance to go with that style. In other words, don't write checks that you can't cash. Efficiency gets results and you do yourself a disservice if you're all talk and no action or all show and no go.
Know Yourself; Be Yourself - So you may like Pantera, or Ice Hockey, or even White women. I lay out those stereotypical attributes for a reason. I have often commented that you'd be hard pressed to find a demographic more pressured to be a certain way than Black Men. Everybody wants a piece of shaping us. American culture, media, the Church, the streets, fellow Black men, even Black women. If you're not rooted, then you run the huge risk of being pulled in a thousand different directions. All your life, you could find yourself trying to impress, or prove that you belong in some social circles, or trying to make someone happy at the expense of your own. You know who you are. You know what you enjoy, what you're into, what your passion is, etc. Embrace those things, and live it openly. People may not like it or may have something to say, but that's their problem.
Be Responsible - Being responsible means a few simple things: taking ownership for you, your actions, and your situations. Know what is your responsibility and what isn't.That means no finger pointing, no blame gaming, and no whining (whining is illegitimate complaining)! It also means no excessive guilt trips for things you weren't responsible for. We all know its hard out there, but that can't affect you and what you do on a moment by moment basis. Stand tall and strong for what you believe in and don't fold like a tent just because you may not be able to argue it well. If you're sure of yourself and you believe in it, I don't care if a thousand lawyers come to argue you down. Listen? Yes. Consider? Yes. Modify when warranted? Absolutely. But stand strong.
Gratitude = Happiness - I believe a grateful person is a happy person. You tell me, is it possible to be truly grateful and not happy?
Long story short, be yourself. I believe a person who is secure in themselves, and who respects, approves, and loves themselves will exhibit those same things outwards. There's a reason these aren't specific pointers. There's a reason there's no relationship advice, no business pointers, or life coaching. There's no sure-fire way to navigate this world. Nor can you please everybody. What you can do, however is construct yourself to live with strength and empowerment within, and that will strengthen us all.
Let me react. It goes to all men, of whatever color, race, breed and nationality. Of all shapes, sizes and age. Manhood, baby.
ReplyDeleteMold them boys as young as you can, through words, deed and prayers. A lot of them.
Still its all about Love. How can we show them what we don't know or feel?