Just Some Monday Morning Thoughts

I was listening to one of my all time favorite songs this morning in 'Zoom' by the Commodores. The reason its perhaps my favorite song is because it speaks on finding a world where everyone is happy, free, and in peace. Thinking about it this morning, I was realizing how escapist it is... and how escapist I can be.  I often associate happiness with getting away.  Finding it here at home has been my greatest challenge. Sometimes, I catch myself looking towards tomorrow, towards my next vacation, towards other people to find my peace and joy.  
When is today, right here, and right now ever gonna be the place to find that fulfillment?  When will my home and my now stop being a place of burden and heaviness?  Escapism is cool, but its fleeting.  Its a moment, not a state of mind. Its a drug. A high that will quickly dissipate only to leave you longing for more.  Do I really want to spend a life in perpetual longing? Do I have the privilege not to?  And what then when that which I've longed for has come, only to be lacking in its actuality, falling well short of the dream that I had for it?
I can't control what happens out there.  I've accepted that reality a long time ago.  What I can control is me, my moment. Much like my last post months ago, I continue to learn that there is no escape, and that here and now, buried underneath the rubble of burden, is the joy of my soul.
So instead of the plane ticket of goals, or the keys to that sports car named desire, what I really need is a shovel.  Better yet, a bulldozer.  I don't need to go away. I don't need to dream.  I need to be right here clearing out the crap.  Fulfillment begins today. Its right here.